"Yeah I'm not looking at your dick or anything."

Scene: Trivia Night. It's busy with the regulars and passersbys getting out of shows in the theater district and from a free musical at the common. We arrive early and the trivia guy is late. Robert almost doesn't get in and Pete shows up half way through the night for the first time in months. I walk towards the mens room and pass by a long line of ladies waiting to get into there bathroom. One of them grabs me "I'm going pee in there" While she points towards the mens room. There's no door to the restroom or stall at this joint so I tell her "Alright I'll watch out for you." She shakes her head no, "Fuck that we can pee at the same time get over there and piss."

I do as she says. The stall she's on is only 4' away and faces me. From the corner of my eye I see her pull down her panties and sit.

"Shit I don't think I can pee with you, oh wait... nope, there's pee comin' out of my vagina."

"Good, I'm glad" I respond, "there's pee comin' outa my dick."

"Yeah I'm not looking at your dick or anything."

"I'm not looking at you either miss." She stand and squirms back into her panties, I zip and turn to wash my hand.

"Shit if your washing your hands I guess I should too" she laughs.

We each knock out a squirt of foaming soap and scrub our hands.

"Yeah that was great, no biggie, just peeing, that was fun. Shit yeah I'm from Lebanon why would I care, I'm fucking Lebanese that was no big deal to me".

"Your from Lebanon?"

"You callin' me a liar!?"

"No I was just confirming that I'd heard you correctly" I respond.

She puts her arm around me and her lips close to my ears, "Come find me later and I'll buy you a drink". Interesting.

I return to our table and put my arm around Robert and Pete and retell the story, they laugh and I point her out towards the front of the bar, we laugh again. Did I mention she was an older woman and I was wearing a T-shirt that read, "I 'heart' hot moms"? Seriously.

The game turns around for us, we're in third and rollin' strong. Everyone is contributing and having a blast, it's been a good night win or loose. In the end we take third -our highest placing sense Pete's team took second back in March.

The team encourages me to redeem my drink. So I walk towards her and she's talkin' to a large bald guy. I lean in "You owe me a drink."

"What why?"

"I was in the bathroom and we peed together and you offered me a drink if I found you later."

"Oh shit, that's right, you're right, hey Tim, TIM where's my purse this guy was a gentlemen in the bathroom and I owe him a drink."

I pause, waiting for his massive fist to pummel me into the ground. At this point I think to myself 'That's why you offered?' I was a gentlemen? That was hardly the case.

He asks me "whatcha' drinkin'?" and I respond Bru, I'll take a Brubaker" and he shrugs his shoulders and walks off. She turns too me, "You're sweet, hey do you want to smoke some pot?"

"Hmm it's been a while I dunno."

"It's no big deal Tim'll smoke you out. Is there an alley near bye? Here hand my purse again." Tim returns with the beers and we clink glasses. She leans over to him, "Here take the joint and smoke 'em out he's a nice guy, he hasn't smoked in a while though so watch out for him". He shrugs, looks at me and nods his head towards the door. I fallow.

"Hey what's your name?" I ask.

"Tim".

"Nice to meat you I'm Robert. Thanks for the smoke".

We exchange pleasantries and walk to the alley. He lights up and says "Hey take a big hit like your not afraid to suck a cock."

I take the quickest hit ever and give it right back.

He chuckles and says "I knew it."

I take another hit and this time I really huff and puff. For some reason I can't get myself to stop talking in a drunken' vaguely east coast accent and I'm ready to get punched again. But for a second time Tim restrains himself. We start walking back towards the restaurant and talking about marijuana law. About 5' from the door he says "No look we were never in any danger" and he flips open a wallet out away from his body and flashes me his police badge.

I gulp.

He says have a good night and we both go our separate way in the bar. I walk towards the group -high as a kite in heaven. They ask me if I wanna go get pizza next door with our winnings -perfect timing.

-Raw