It snowed about 4 inches in central North Carolina this weekend.
For those of you unfamiliar with the devastating effects of snow in this part of the country, I can assure you its quite surreal. Some roads get pretty slick and occasionally wet slush downs a powerline or two. But the most horrifying effects of the weather take place in the hearts and minds of citizens here- not on the ground.
A mere mention of the word snow around the water cooler or on television sends residents of central North Carolina into a panic.
Grocery stores sell out of milk, bread, and batteries. Greg Fishel the weatherman becomes a bigger celebrity than Michael Jackson. And news stations generate new terrorizing theme music and graphics.
Young people drive like middle-aged people, middle-aged people drive like old people, and old people just don't drive (Snowy NC = Asia).
Schools unquestionably close. But they don't notify student and parents until 10pm the night before.
Curmudgeons curse the cold and vow to move south. School kids enjoy the freedom and vow to move north.
Dogs piss on everything. Everything pisses off cats.
Salt and sand will be applied to the roads until July. Swiss Miss earns 59% of their yearly profits.
And chickens with their heads cut off get thousands of new friends to share in their franticness.
-DC
No comments:
Post a Comment
Your thoughts?