Dear people who write answers to hypothetical questions posted on blog sites,
Perhaps you are missing the point. When a blogger posts pictures of animals sleeping in strange positions under the title "Have You Ever Been So Tired?", it is not an invitation for you to respond with "Ive definitly been thaaaaaat tired xD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". Instead, the blogger was using that question to highlight how silly the sleeping animals seem. Your answer adds nothing to the experience, and suggests that you may be hovering around the lower limit of social intelligence. Please stop,
Thanks,
David
Showing posts with label stupid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stupid. Show all posts
Monday, January 25, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Luke-warm Wisdom
On a recent journey through the web looking for interesting sites, I came across a blogger who posted "88 Important Truths I've Learned About Life" (from the site Raptitude.com, whose tagline is "Getting Better at Being Human"). While I adore the internet for its many hidden wonders, I do not enjoy the musings of retards with keyboards (irony noted and immediately dispelled: I am always right). I have decided to post responses to several of these lessons. Let this be a warning to anyone else who wants to fill the airwaves with useless, fluffy shit.
1. You can't change other people, and it's rude to try.
Incorrect. People are as malleable as playdough, and changing them is easy and commonplace. Beyond literally changing babies (which, I'm told, are mini-people) and drawing on someone's face when they fall asleep to change their appearance, there are many ways that people can be changed "on the inside". Try telling someone that you admire their fat rolls (especially if they don't really have any) and see if they start acting differently.
8. If everyone in the show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.
Has this person seen Baywatch? Or Desperate Housewives? Not to mention that its pretty ironic for someone this preachy and self-important to discuss TV shows as his #8 important truth about life. Attractive actors is the third most important factor about a show's quality (behind drug references and cursing).
11. Every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it.
No way. Most problems are Jack Bauer's responsibility.
16. Cynicism is far too easy to be useful.
Really? I am finding quite a bit of use for mine.
25. Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.
I disagree. Putting something off makes it harder and scarier later on
32. The greatest innovation in the history of humankind is language.
Language is pretty important. It has led to even more important inventions like sarcasm, curse words, and those plastic singing fish that you mount on your wall. But there have been lots of other important innovations that have improved the human condition immensely: string cheese, jean shorts, spiders, and rockets, to name a few. I don't think language can top those.
68. It is worth re-trying foods that you didn’t like at first.
By this logic, the second and third seasons of Fear Factor should have been a success.
76. Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family.
I'm not sure this tactic worked too well for O.J.'s image. But I suppose it was his methods that got him into trouble. This tidbit of advice would be infinitely more helpful if the author discussed the proper ways to remove people from your life.
77. Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.
But not at the sun. Which is a star. So, no. Looking at certain stars is extremely unnerving.
... There are many others, but my head is starting to spin.
-Dave
1. You can't change other people, and it's rude to try.
Incorrect. People are as malleable as playdough, and changing them is easy and commonplace. Beyond literally changing babies (which, I'm told, are mini-people) and drawing on someone's face when they fall asleep to change their appearance, there are many ways that people can be changed "on the inside". Try telling someone that you admire their fat rolls (especially if they don't really have any) and see if they start acting differently.
8. If everyone in the show you’re watching is good-looking, it’s not worth watching.
Has this person seen Baywatch? Or Desperate Housewives? Not to mention that its pretty ironic for someone this preachy and self-important to discuss TV shows as his #8 important truth about life. Attractive actors is the third most important factor about a show's quality (behind drug references and cursing).
11. Every problem you have is your responsibility, regardless of who caused it.
No way. Most problems are Jack Bauer's responsibility.
16. Cynicism is far too easy to be useful.
Really? I am finding quite a bit of use for mine.
25. Putting something off makes it instantly harder and scarier.
I disagree. Putting something off makes it harder and scarier later on
32. The greatest innovation in the history of humankind is language.
Language is pretty important. It has led to even more important inventions like sarcasm, curse words, and those plastic singing fish that you mount on your wall. But there have been lots of other important innovations that have improved the human condition immensely: string cheese, jean shorts, spiders, and rockets, to name a few. I don't think language can top those.
68. It is worth re-trying foods that you didn’t like at first.
By this logic, the second and third seasons of Fear Factor should have been a success.
76. Sometimes you have to remove certain people from your life, even if they’re family.
I'm not sure this tactic worked too well for O.J.'s image. But I suppose it was his methods that got him into trouble. This tidbit of advice would be infinitely more helpful if the author discussed the proper ways to remove people from your life.
77. Anyone can be calmed in an instant by looking at the ocean or the stars.
But not at the sun. Which is a star. So, no. Looking at certain stars is extremely unnerving.
... There are many others, but my head is starting to spin.
-Dave
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Moon Hoax
Apparently, 6% of Americans still believe we never landed on the moon.
That's remarkably discouraging, given that these 19 million or so people probably go through life thinking there is nothing wrong with them. Well, there is.
To completely disregard one of the most astonishing feats of human kind is to trivialize a branch of science that has provided us with incredible discoveries, state-of-the-art technologies, and clever inventions. NASA's contributions to "everyday society" are enormous- many of these contributions are a direct result of our efforts to go farther than we ever have before. Namely, to the moon.
Advances in medicine including: MRI's, Laser eye surgery, and prosthetic limbs have benefited millions of people.
Smoke detectors, ergonomically-designed chairs, drinking water purifiers, and satellite television have improved the safety and comfort of home living.
Bar codes, invisible braces, fire-resistant materials, memory-foam mattresses, sun glasses, ski boots, football helmets, and toothpaste were also all direct results of NASA research.
And the list goes on...
... So denying such an event, while taking these items for granted is obtuse, ill-informed, and stupid. But that goes without saying. The entertaining bit is the conviction with which these views are expressed and the attempted "scientific" explanations used to express them! At the risk of giving these people any undeserved attention, it is worth looking at a few of their claims. [Taken from http://www.apfn.org/apfn/moon.htm, which is authored by a "self-taught" engineer].
-Dave
That's remarkably discouraging, given that these 19 million or so people probably go through life thinking there is nothing wrong with them. Well, there is.
To completely disregard one of the most astonishing feats of human kind is to trivialize a branch of science that has provided us with incredible discoveries, state-of-the-art technologies, and clever inventions. NASA's contributions to "everyday society" are enormous- many of these contributions are a direct result of our efforts to go farther than we ever have before. Namely, to the moon.
Advances in medicine including: MRI's, Laser eye surgery, and prosthetic limbs have benefited millions of people.
Smoke detectors, ergonomically-designed chairs, drinking water purifiers, and satellite television have improved the safety and comfort of home living.
Bar codes, invisible braces, fire-resistant materials, memory-foam mattresses, sun glasses, ski boots, football helmets, and toothpaste were also all direct results of NASA research.
And the list goes on...
... So denying such an event, while taking these items for granted is obtuse, ill-informed, and stupid. But that goes without saying. The entertaining bit is the conviction with which these views are expressed and the attempted "scientific" explanations used to express them! At the risk of giving these people any undeserved attention, it is worth looking at a few of their claims. [Taken from http://www.apfn.org/apfn/moon.htm, which is authored by a "self-taught" engineer].
- One NASA picture from Apollo 11 is looking up at Neil Armstrong about to take his giant step for mankind. The photographer must have been lying on the planet surface. If Armstrong was the first man on the Moon, then who took the shot?
- Apollo 14 astronaut Allen Shepard played golf on the Moon. In front of a worldwide TV audience, Mission Control teased him about slicing the ball to the right. Yet a slice is caused by uneven air flow over the ball. The Moon has no atmosphere and no air.
- The flags shadow goes behind the rock so doesn't match the dark line in the foreground, which looks like a line cord. So the shadow to the lower right of the spaceman must be the flag. Where is his shadow?
-Dave
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