Hollow Heads

The awkwardness in "Two blonde bitches and a denim vest" is palpable. No doubt about that. Its worth digging a little deeper and expanding our awkward horizons to address something that often gets neglected here at the Awkword- substance.

We jump at the opportunity to share the feeling from those gut-dropping, michael-jackson-in-a-boys-choir-esque moments that happen in our day to day experiences, but we sometimes forget to take a step back and ask "What the hell were they talking about?!"

Cause stupidity is pretty awkward.

So, we revisit Raw's trainride- this time, viewed through slightly different lenses...

"Oh thanks!" she smiled at him. She then quickly straightened up and turned into him, "What color are they [my eyes] today?"

What the hell? What are you, a chamelion? Sure, its possible that eyes change color slightly in certain conditions (pink eye, doused in chlorine from a pool, that crazy shit from "28 Days Later", etc...). But they are pretty much a constant. And for someone who clearly spent 3 hours lathering on makeup in front of a mirror this morning, its pretty unlikely that you didnt catch a glimpse of those things. You're an idiot.

"Gray! Do they change? That's neat."

Grey?! Really? Of all the eye colors you could respond with, you chose grey. You tried to woo her with the most boring color known to man. You might as well have told her that she looks "devoid of life" and that "some surgery could probably cure that". Very slick.

"Why are you wearing flip flops?" he asked the 2nd chick, "it's cold!"
"Oh I'm fine, I don't get cold I'm pretty warm blooded. Why aren't you wearing sleeves?"

Hmm. Pretty warm blooded, eh? Well that really sets you apart from the other people on the train. Thank goodness you aren't cold blooded, or else you might have to join the other reptiles as they find a rock to sun themselves on.

... So Raw certainly wasnt the only one feeling awkward on that train ride. Anyone with an IQ over 7 should have been tripping over each other to pull the emergency brake.

- Dave