Two blonde bitches and a denim vest.

Feeling awkward for someone else is bullshit.

On the Red Line yesterday there was to attractive young ladies sitting across from me. They were superficially attractive mind you -blond, thin, and adorned in expensive clothes. After a minute a young man, pierced enough to make a colander jealous and wearing denim that must have been unearthed from the grave of Levi Strauss himself came limping along. Unbalanced and brandishing a sneer like a putty knife the man turned and revealed an eye patch. The eye patch itself was no bother but the half hazard way it was sitting on the mans forehead was. It reminded me of a broken window shutter on an old house.

He sat in the last seat between the superficially hot women and the end of the train car. He looked at one, not 10 inches from her face, and asked "What color are your eyes? I wish I had a pair of eyes like that." I was floored! What a line! How would she react to the painfully stringent irony being forced upon her!?

"Oh thanks!" she smiled at him. She then quickly straightened up and turned into him, "What color are they today?"

"Gray! Do they change? That's neat."

"Yeah they change. They're usually blue but they're gray today eh?" she smiled at him.

At first I couldn't figure it out. Then it hit me, she was teasing him! They both were! How fuckin' mean is this shit?! Sure this kid was a little creepy and gross but these bitches were luring him in with false hopes. I couldn't watch. This was going to end badly.

"Why are you wearing flip flops?" he asked the 2nd chick, "it's cold!"

"Oh I'm fine, I don't get cold I'm pretty warm blooded. Why aren't you wearing sleeves?"

"Cuz it's a vest," he said looking down at his chest.

Then they did it. Was I watching a fucking TV show!? They looked at each other with evil smiles and chicky number two looked back at the sieve and sgroweld, "vests are hawt!"

What.

The.

Fuck.

I couldn't stomach it. I was keeled over in my seat grasping my stomach and rubbing my forehead. I couldn't handle this. I felt embarrassed for all involved. I wanted to throw up a little in my mouth and I started seeing spots from rubbing my head to excessively.

WHY!?

Why did I give a fuck? Someone tell me. Someone figure this shit out for me!

At Harvard square the girls got off... he fallowed. I'm sure somewhere there's two hot bitches or one dumb creepster dead in a ditch somewhere.

Damn.

-Raw