A Letter

Dear NC Governor Bev Purdue,

I wanted to express my strong opposition to the tax increases that you recently proposed to help balance the state's budget. Such taxes could forever damage our state's economy and make us more like Communist China. To solve the economic crisis here at home, we just need to do a little house cleaning. I offer the following suggestions for places to cut spending:

1. Education- NC ranks 45th nationally in the quality of our secondary schools and 40th in expenditures per pupil. We have a little breathing room here. We are not completely at the bottom. I think we can probably settle for the older editions of textbooks ("National Economic Theory: 1980-2008 Edition" and "Rove and Cheney's Climate Change Science for Lawmakers: Shorter than ever before!") to cut our costs.
   
2. Healthcare- We have the 7th highest infant mortality rate. That's practically a double-digit ranking! Perhaps we are currently spending too much on fancy technology and vaccinations. I think we should reuse needles, double-up patients in hospital beds, and stop giving our kids so many expensive shots. After all, when was the last time you heard about someone getting polio?
3. Energy use- Its time to stop importing all of our oil from overseas. I'm sure we have some oil to drill for right here in NC. Or coal. And I know for a fact we have a lot of forests that are stock full of wood to burn. Seems like a no-brainer to me!
   

I hope you will take my suggestions into account as you move forward. NC has to live up to its rich history of hard work and economic prosperity that is in no way tied to social status or an unfair exploitation of ethnic minorities. Placing absurd taxes on discretionary items unfairly punishes those of us who have worked a little harder.

I am particularly offended by the potential tax on "luxury services" like cosmetic surgery, limos, and chartered flights that will soon be voted on in the state house. These are three of the few remaining items that make us feel isolated from the current economic crisis. Establishing a tax on our fake boobs and private transportation will make us feel a little more like everyone else. Point of information: If I take a chartered flight and then a limo to my cosmetic surgery appointment, will I be taxed three times? That is simply not fair.


Sincerely,
Rich People


P.S. Please find enclosed a wad of $100's.

-Dave