A True Bailout...

Reenactment of a conversation at Nevada Senator John Ensign's dinner table:

Mom/Dad: Hi Johnny. How was your day?

JE: It was okay... Hey mom and dad, can I borrow $96,000?

Mom/Dad: Hmm... what for?

JE: Well, I've been having an extramarital affair for the last 9 months with someone that works for me. I've pursued her pretty relentlessly and it has really torn her marriage apart. I want to pay her and her family $96,000 to keep things quiet and I know that if the money comes from my wallet, that would be bad news. What do you say?

Mom/Dad: ...Okay.

... Seems like the workings of a bad hollywood drama, but this is real life! That's right, Nevada Republican Senator John Ensign recently disclosed an affair he had been having with Cynthia Hampton- a former member of his staff. And the story that is unfolding is worthy of a movie (co-starring Mark Sanford??). Ensign's parents wrote the Hamptons a check for almost $100K after they left his staff (they both used to work for him).

If you are still a little unsure about who Sen. Ensign is, here are a few facts that may jog your memory:

• He serves on the Senate Committee on Rules and Administration
  
• He received a 100% rating by the Christian Coalition (founded by Pat Robertson) for his pro-family voting record (2003)
• He eloquently stated in a 2006 senate debate:
  

My Nevada roots go back to my great-grandparents, who settled our state in the early 1900s. They created and passed down a work ethic and values of have integrity that I have embraced my entire life. I’ve tried to instill those Nevada values in my own children. We need proven Nevada leadership to keep Nevada strong. We need leaders with a deep understanding of our state. We need proven Nevada leadership to keep Nevada strong.

... But this hypocrisy and bigotry are becoming very common on the right side of the aisle. The amazing thing here is that his parents forked over almost $100,000 dollars to fund his extramarital affair! They were accomplices in his hypocrisy and players in his infidelity.

Forget the "birds and the bees" talk- asking mom and dad to help you out with that one must be incredibly awkward...

-Dave