Saturday, May 2, 2009

Craigslist Thriller


Riding home on the train tonight, I couldn't help but notice all of the silly-looking couples getting ready for silly-looking sex. It got me thinking: how did all these people meet?

In modern times, it seems more and more people are turning to Craigslist to satisfy their needs. Of course, relying on a box full of wires and flashing lights to connect two living people can be tricky. And Craigslist posts are certainly not completely revealing of one's true identity.

So, in honor of the ambiguity of it all (and the inevitably silliness that comes from making an intercouple), here are a few things that you might not want to say on the first date:

- "So I see you took a few liberties on your personal profile."

- "I didn't know they made shirts in that size."

- "I hope you don't plan on making me have sex with you."

- "So, what do you want for breakfast tomorrow."

- "Do you mind if we go Dutch on the condoms tonight, baby?"

- "Oh you are way prettier than last night's date."

- "...Oh"

- "Sorry I'm late to the Sushi bar. I was on the John and had to make a Maki of my own."

- "How many roofies does it usually take?"

- "Wow, I'm not that desperate!"

... Love may in fact be more than a mouse click away. But awkward situations sure aren't

-Dave

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