Are those new slacks?

From the April 10th version of Science Magazine:

Having negative ideas about old people may harm your own health later in life, a longitudinal study suggests...On joining the study, the participants--healthy adults under 50-- filled out a questionnaire that asked about 'stereotypes' such as whether old people are "absent-minded" or "less intelligent"...The researchers found that people with worse-than-average age stereotypes were likely to have heart attacks or strokes at younger ages.

...so, given my 23 years of transgressions in this department, I have decided to simultaneously clear my conscience and improve my health...

Dear old people,

...no wait...

Dear old people,

I am sorry for having thought until recently that you are all senile, sluggish, and pathetic. I appreciate your long stories and I love when you pay with exact change at the grocery store. I now know that parking spaces are unfairly sized and that your poor driving is best explained by environmental factors. And I appreciate how your houses always smell like mothballs- its cute.

I hope that you can forgive me and that you will invite me to your front porch next time you scowl at teenagers and minorities.

Sincerely,
Dave